Javier (what the hell is his last name)
Gina Bishop. (damn she’s fine. Gorgeous AND sexy, the combination that i thought never existed) when i like myself, she’ll like myself.
Neil Parihk. He pulled off that charisma that i thought he never had, he did what i never could. for now.
it would be so easy to call myself lazy and be done with it. but those who are lazy have work to do that they don’t want to do, i have work that i absolutely want to do, with every fiber of my being, so many things i want to do to change, so many thoughts vibrating and resounding me to do so, and yet, things keep me in check. My desire to be self-less probably stems from Jesus Christ, creating the persona of the Giver and never the Taker, removing all but that which does me harm from my life. I suppose if i were to start to eradicate this mess, i would first eliminate the thought that being selfish is bad. after that i would start paving the road to balancing the two, and doing things that bring me selfish joy, instead of selfless joy.
Right, so as of now, i think i know myself very well. I am a very self-destructive person, giving me my selfless persona and reaffirming my inability to be good to myself, only to others. That selflessness is praised by some, and i am considered Good, me being good is, again, warped by my self-destructive thoughts to make me feel guilt for being good, because i might be arrogant and see myself as better than those who are not quite as righteous. Guilt for Righteousness.