Last day of the first week of school

Woo. Long week. I should really write these daily so that my memory is a lot more fresh. Next Week. So Let’s recap. On Monday I wore my Nice guy shirt, and this Junior in my US History class saw it and was like, “Oooh its that shirt. I love that shirt, but I don’t want to pay $25 for it. So I decided to just.. give it to him. People were appalled that I would do such a thing, but I finally think that it is time. Not time to stop being the Nice Guy, but time to stop thinking that the Nice Guy is necessary. I am riddled with guilt as a way to propel me to be the Nice Guy, so removing this portion of my psyche might in turn rid me of the excess guilt that I may feel. Willful Ignorance of the pain of others is the only way to not become racked with unnatural Guilt.

Tuesday. I can’t remember much about Tuesday, I couldn’t even remember what I wore to school lol. It’s terrible how terrible my memory is, symbollically i could say that I am far too engrossed in the Present to ever sustain a proper connection with the Past. Anyway, The day went by smoothly, I ate Spam Musubi cause’ I knew that Alex would be working Lunch. Went to the tables, and talked to everyone about the random things I enjoy talking about. Honestly, I cannot remember anything else.

Wednesday. Wore grey polo, white pants. Ran into Steve, apparently he’s wearing an exact grey polo as I was Lol. Got Dividers from Cuong cause Ms. Sarvey wanted them. Made up some Homework that I didn’t do because I didn’t have my book. She was cool about it. Came home, took a nap. The yelling seems to have.. lessened as a result of me telling my mom that “I was told that I am no longer able to step in and yell at you.” She would ask who would say such a thing, who did I talk to about such a thing, but I never answered.

Thursday. Senior color day. It was HOT AS HELL but I didn’t have any red clothes, so I had to wear the freaking hot as hell Senior Hoodie! Ahhh its all good though, cause Thursday is Meditation Club Day, so I’m all zen and not hot at all. Oh and we had a Fire Drill, and after the drill I saw Cuong and his girlfriend, and she said I looked Hot during the Fire Drill. I’m not exactly sure what she meant by “hot” but I laughed with them and said goodbye.

Friday. Game Day. Football game, I was thinking about going, but I didn’t really have anyone to go with. I sorta asked some friends if they were going, and since they weren’t, I took it as a sign that maybe I should do something else. Then in 5th per, Garren told me about his band, Finish Ticket, that was playing at Rooster’s Roadhouse. I wrote Football on the back of the flyer, and I started twirling it. I dropped it by mistake and it landed on Rooster’s Roadhouse, so I thought, Guess it’s Finish Ticket that i’m going to see. With that decided, I went to 6th period. I went out 6th period and I ran into Anthony. A few words about Anthony. I met him in my Current Life class and it became clear that he and I were a lot alike, except that we were also completely different. He didn’t do his Final Current Life project and he was all complaining and trying to get an extension. I am not the type of person to complain to better myself. He is. I admire that. He is also the type to think extensively about Life, about happiness, joy, and other philosophical things that may come to mind. We talked, and he said he’d be down in the Dojo if I still wanted to talk and chill with him afterwards. As he went downstairs, someone sitting above on the tables by the lunch-giver place beckoned me over to her. As I got closer, I saw Sandy King and Emily. A few words about Sandy. She is also the success-driven unstoppable achiever, just like Anthony. When asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up a few years ago, she said Rich. I can’t condemn her for it, it’s a very common goal. So anyway, she called me over to the table, asked me what Anthony’s name was, and then we talked. She was doing physics homework, Emily was doing Calc. We talked, caught up sort of, and then I thought. I ran into two people today. Both Success Driven, both desiring Greatness. Is it a sign of a change in my mind? Am I finally in the correct path of Wanting greatness on my own? I felt hope. I said goodbye and went back to my 6th period class, waited till it was over, and went down to the Dojo.

In the Dojo, there’s no shoes allowed on the mat. I was careful, but i still messed up and kinda stepped on it. Anthony pulled me back, so it was fine. He said he wanted to go get a burrito, so I decided to stay until Judo Practice was over so that we could go together. Damn. I must’ve sat in that dojo for 3 hours. During that time, I knocked over someone’s bag, dropped their water, failed to get it, and sat in the sun. Anthony also recommended a book to me, The Road Less Traveled. I sort of skimmed it, and found out it was a book that I should wait to read fully, but i remembered the title. Then it was Burrito time.

We went to get Chilli Verde, Regular sized, and then went to Robeks and got Strawnanaberry at Robeks, then we sat down and at and talked. After a few minutes, we were done, but we were cold from the Robeks. So we decided to go get something hot. We walked around, and I asked if he wanted some Pho cause I recognized a sign that was the Pho Little Saigon Shop. so we went in, AND IT WAS THE WRONG FUCKING SHOP! We sat down and they gave us tea already, so it’s not like we could go back out! So it was funny, we just decided to eat here instead, I got Potstickers, he got Beef noodle Soup. and DAMN was it good food. I gotta go there more often, no joke. But yeah, we talked about everything, about how I didn’t want anything, about how anything that I have i’d be okay with being taken away. blah blah blah. After the food was done, i Paid, he said he’d pay me back later in In&Out Burgers, i said fine. We went to wait in Starbucks for his mom, we talked some more, he said he had a wedding to go to on Saturday, I said its all good. His mom came. I called my dad, picked me up, came home, popped on AIM, then Terrence called and I played CS, then went to sleep. GoodDay.


3 thoughts on “Last day of the first week of school

  1. Hmm, giving away your shirt could also reflect upon how you want to get rid of the items that hold certain feelings on them. And by truly giving away your items you give off the message that you are not attached to those items. Now, I’m not saying that you do not treasure the stuff that you have, but i see that you dont treasure as much as a materialistic person would. In my opinion, well its obvious between the two of us that you are a more spiritual and beyond type of person. Like the moral behind the moral, the context in the context, the feelings behind the feelings.

  2. Gosh. so nice :]. buh I dont understand why you have this tremendous amount of guilt. for what? And if you do, why do you carry this burden all to your self?

  3. =) My guilt is unnatural. It is as if I feel guilty for having life while others do not. The mature thing would be to Live the life given to you in such an excessive and plentiful way so that it is worth all the lives that are not alive. The “immature” and selfish thing is to waste it away by helping others who are alive, but wasting yourself away. I carry the burden myself because I have made myself out to Be the nice guy; I have attracted all the things that make me out to be Good, and I am addicted to the joy I feel because of it. I suppose I carry the burden myself because, the more pain you have, the stronger you are for being able to Take it. =P and I willingly put myself in the position, I attract the situations that propel this possibility. It is a bad thing, and I’m working to change it, haha.

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