I had a completely odd dream a few minutes ago. My memory is terrible as you know, but I caught glimpses of what I did when I found out that my Grandmother did something to get me into Brown University. Just like I would assume it would play out, I drove myself mad doubting and poking and prodding, not being able to enjoy even for a single second the idea of a all expenses paid, no hassle, easy life at Brown. I just kept digressing the Why and the what ifs, It all frightened me. That I was so twisted of mind that I could not conceive or allow myself to enjoy a single moment of not having to worry about the future. I could not allow myself to be guided onto a path of easy, no hassle being, and could only make myself miserable in questioning. I need help.