Beach date, Alexa wanted to spend some time on the beach. this was.. Saturday. I decided to stop by SouthShore and buy some gum cause I figure if she does kiss me I should be ready. I was all ready to go when I remembered that Allison worked at ColorMeMine, and the chances of her working when i visited would be slim, but I decided to go anyway. I walked by quickly past C.M.M twice and saw her there, but couldn’t decide if I should go in and say hi. Would it be awkward? would it be easy? would it be fun? Would it be me finally being able to do something normal, visiting a friend and saying hello? Would it be a majestic leap of faith? I circled the place 3 times before finally entering. I walked in, she gave me a hug, (I still can’t get used to hugs.. I find that disturbing about me) and we talked for a bit, about her, about alexa, etc. Ran into Nick who works there too. Then I told her about my beach date, so we said goodbye and I left. As I was walking past south shore, I ran into Dr. Dauber! We said hello, and I thought to myself, If I didn’t go back and visit Allison, I would not have ran into Dauber. Anyway, I walked towards the beach and we met halfway at the beach side of McDonalds, then we walked to the beach. On the beach, we decided to just walk along until we wanted to just sit. So we sat. for a Long, Long time. she put her head on my shoulder, we held hands, and I told her that she was kinda scary. She said why, I said cause she was very forward. She hadn’t kissed me yet, even though she said she was going to, and I think it was this that I said that made her stop. So, we just sat there, on the beach, talked about each other for nearly 4 hours, when her mother called. She was livid when she found out that she wasn’t home, even more so when she heard that her daughter was at the beach alone, (Alexa thought she had to lie instead of saying she was with a guy) and so we walked back to McDonalds and split up. It was about 7, I was freezing my ass off, but I enjoyed the freedom and peace that resulted in the quiet. Then I decided to call you, Terence, about whether or not there are people around to scrim. You said yes, so I decided I should get back soon. I had one more stop left though, I decided to go back to see if Allison was still working. Again, chances low. Again, she was there. Again, I walked by 3 times, the first she was teaching some kids about pottery and wasn’t pay attention to the outside, the second time she was in the back washing pots, and the third, I waved and she waved as we waved goodbye. I left, felt revitalized, and ran home to Scrim.
Kicked ass in the scrims on Saturday, found out there was a scrim on Sunday that we didn’t do so good on, (maybe cause I wasn’t there =P) and went to school Monday. Felt like I had a sore throat, turns out I did, and felt sick when I got home. I feel guilty when I get sick, my mom especially berates me about not going to school when I get sick. She has gone off the deep end; she sees everything in the worst possible light; if I get a cold, then I am guarenteed to miss school, and if I miss school, then she is right. She always cares about being right, it’s made her very selfish. This morning i confronted her about it, and she shocked me in her twisted philosophy. She cares more about me going to school and being a son that she can be proud of, than me staying at home and getting better and healthy. She cares more about what I can do for her, than what I need to survive. Not giving up though, my dad may have made his peace with my mom being crazy, but I believe in change, and i’m the fixer. =)
Another majestic leap of faith, I piggybacked a conversation on Facebook, said “What’re the cool kids doing without me? =P” and I turned off all notices and haven’t checked for replies. Then I decided to sit down and write on this blog. I’m about to check it. =P NoRegrets of course. This is me getting better. This is me, caring about something enough to want it. This, is who I am.
Edit: AHAHAHA, okay, so basically, I put one finger on the enter button, and one hand on the alt-f4 keys. Turns out, I closed it before the message could register! =) Now, to look into it. My fear of change overcame my majestic leap of faith, quite literally. I love it. The divine could not have planned it any better. Now the question is, do I leap some more and test my luck, 3rd time’s the charm, or do I make my own luck?