go there for a blog thing. im tired.
honestly, there’s just so much to talk about. The less said about life’s sores the better. Not that I have anything so sordid to mention. Finals. Dark Chocolate Covered Cacao Nibs. Ariel. RoadTrip. Chance Encounters. Chance revelations. Haiti. Goodbyes. Music. GoldenGlobes. Sushi. Pescatarian for 11 days or so. Daydreams. Contact. Rain. Thunder. Lightning. Hail. Snow. Expectations. Solutions. The Cold. The Rules. The End.
ah well. time to get started on Stats. =)
I’ll tell you why Good shit on tv goes away.
Only Smart people can tell what Good Shit is, that is why smart people are smart enough to watch Good Shit online rather than on the television. That is why Good Shit is rare on tv, and that is why Good Shit gets cancelled.
a whole mess of things have happened lately, and all of it requires extra effort to put forth, so I won’t be talking about that tonight. Let’s instead, talk about Strangers.
Has this ever happened to you, You meet someone new and then start seeing them around at school?
So you meet someone for the first time. This is at school, where there are many people, and routine sets in and you get used to certain things. After you meet this person for the first time, you start seeing them around everywhere around the school. If you’ve been walking the same way to classes, then why are you just now noticing these people that you just met? Have you just been inattentive? Have they always walked the same ways you’ve walked, but only now do you notice them because only now do you have their story, so now they matter enough for you to notice their presence? Or is it more intentional? That your thought of them being in your mind, fresh and new, so they jump out onto the canvas of your existence? That your actual knowing of their existence means you start to run into them in your reality.
The next time you are in a crowd, or a bunch of people, take a look around. Try to see if you can remember the glimpses of these people around you. For all you know, you may one day know their story, and them your own. Someday, some way, you may meet the one you’ve already met.
If you really want to test things out, try it the other way around. Notice someone in the crowd that you might possibly wish to meet. Intend to find a way to do so, and believe that the world’ll make it happen.
Lately I’ve been seeing people that I’ve been thinking of, but these people are new and I haven’t changed my walking paths or times. In all likelihood, I should’ve seen them. Am I simply not observant enough? What if they’re incredibly memorable people once you’ve met them? haha, and this, once again, is the Serendipity of Life. Try it out, see if you, have a touch of destiny about you.
What makes a good Conversationalist? It’s a very tricky thing; to be quick witted and able to
make the English Language your bitch. bend the rule of English to your desires. Even more so when it is done Vocally, instead of Secretly.
A While back, I had a talk with Anthony about how to carry on a conversation. The consensus was that both sides need to contribute, input, and offer insight and opinion to the response. Now, the reason that some awkward situations arise is either that, the person does not feel like talking, the person does not feel like talking to you, or, the most likely, the person does not know what to talk about. This is a very interesting thing, that tends to happen to those who people feel they have strong connections to, but then they flame out and people attempt to say, perhaps we just don’t click.
The problem is, some people just suck at it. Some people do not know how to go from one subject to the next, take a base and build a pyramid so to speak. I’ll give you an example. I say the word Sky, how do you reply? How do you build on something like the weather? Here’s how went about it the other day, The other person’s words will be underlined.
- Its soooo cold!
“No it’s not. =) It’s sooo unbelievably warm right now.” -They look at me like it’s crazy- “Mind over Matter. =) Think about a hot place.”
- That doesn’t really work though, cause I think about a hot place like Hawaii, and then I want to go to Hawaii, so then i’m sad.
- -SomeoneElseAddsOddity- -That doesn’t work, cause I think about the sun, and then that makes me think about hell, which makes me think about eternal damnation, which is bad.-
“Well, then that’s why you have to pick a place that’s Boring and Hot. =) think of Phoenix, Arizona. It’s hot as hell there, but it’s completely boring.”
Now, this is part of a conversation I had while walking someone to their ride home. First of all, think of where it started. It was cold. One very easy way to add something to a conversation, is to talk about the opposing point of view.
- I’m bored.
“Me too, but I ran into an old friend on my way over here, she was laughing uncontrollably about something.” Now here, you can decide whether or not you wish to Lie to pursue a conversation. Lies will add considerable depth through outlandish possibilities, but the lack of ethics behind it leaves much to be considered. It is a great start, for those who are not as observant of the magic around them, and must first imagine magic, before it is shown to them.
The whole point, is to be Observant. To See everything, so that you can Speak of everything. Now the second point, is to Describe it. Imagine you are reading a book to someone, and the book is written by an amazing author who is capable of vociferous vocabulary. The book, is the book of life. Your job as a Conversationalist is to introduce a page of it to the person you are conversing With. I do not believe that books are ever absolutely boring; same thing with life. Every life has something worth conversing about, all it takes is the Observer to see it, then to transfer its meaning into another’s existence.
Now comes the nitty-gritty. Why do we converse? When I say that some people suck at conversing, it either means they suck at the describing portion, in which case they think that what they say is too boring to explain, or that they don’t wish to converse, or are unable to contribute to the conversation, based on internal turmoil. Describing the magic of the world that is worth conversing about will come in time and practice. The more magic you see, the more you solidify its existence. Now the second part. If the other person simply does not wish to converse, if they are incapable of continuing the conversation, then the only thing you can do, is Bodily Expression. If words can’t convey meaning, or if words seem too harsh to say, “You’re boring and can’t speak.” Then simply walk, smile slightly, turn your head to the other person, observe them, and take the lesson that comes with the view. Those who want to talk would probably be able to say something like, “what?” when you look at them with your smiling mug. Those who just don’t want to, for whatever reason, would just smile back or not change facial expressions at all. You can learn from this, learn from who you are conversing with, exchanging thoughts with.
The hardest part, is to Start. The base of the pyramid. You can either plan it out, or wing it. One guarantees the execution, but I find that if you Wing it based on what you see, you can add more to it and to what it can be.
Observe and you can see, all that emotion has blinded you to be, so to speak.
Take this test. =) Mr. Martin gave it to all of us during Psychology class, and I think its fun haha. Here are my answers.
ENFP, Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving.
22 50 38 44
Idealist Portrait of the Champion (ENFP)
Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can’t wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.
Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what’s possible.
Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.
Joan Baez, Phil Donahue, Paul Robeson, Bill Moyer, Elizibeth Cady Stanton, Joeseph Campbell, Edith Wharton, Sargent Shriver, Charles Dickens, and Upton Sinclair are examples of Idealist Champions
This is an old post, I posted it on a different forum, something about the Secret, but I seem to have lost it. Anyway, here it is, about 4 years old.
So im sitting here, water in hand, being blinded by White on black and chatting, music, and wondering what to type. Well I guess I should start by saying what this is. Basically, Intentionalism, Manifestation, Law of Attraction, (LOA) its the belief that life is determined by the thoughts that you conciously and subconciously create. I know, freaky. So my first actual foray into these words actually came with a book my friend showed me, and that book was called, The Secret. He talked bout it very offhanded, just a memorable line, “did you know that every thought has a frequency?”
Then we just went back on with whatever we were doing, i think it was tennis. So I shrugged it off, but then about 6 months later, my Aunt decided to tell me about the movie version of that same book, and i began to wonder, did I Intend myself to find the Movie version, courtesy of my Aunt? Now was when things started getting twisty. The basis of intentionalism boils down to the fact that You are Fate. That your intending of Fate to go one way or another, whether you know it or not, is what becomes reality. That “All that you are is the result of what you have thought’ Immediatly, this takes away the belief that God is Good, or that he is evil, or that he is a judge and that he is a decider. If God is nothing more than the source from which i was created, does the fact that i can create and manifest give me the symbolism of God? Now i started looking back, looking for clues ofwhat led me to my life so far, of whether or not i truly had hints that intended my path to become true. I looked as far back as 7 years old, when i was but a child messing around with some old glowsticks.
Now my memory is not as sharp, so I know not of the specifics as to why i would have a glowstick in the first place, though im sure i did not start stringing at the age of 7, no matter how Amazing that may have been. =P So yes, i remember glowsticks, i remember looking in the mirror and waving em, i remember refrigerating glowsticks for whatever reason, i remember things more near to the future as well, A bike that i wanted without even knowing it, a girlfriend that i pushed away without even knowing it, a path that i knowingly carved for myself, and a path that i shyed away from when i decided that there were more important things to life than the grade that represents you.
I believe in the law of attraction. I believe in manifesting destiny, and i believe that where i am, is because of what i’ve thought. i believe that there are things that i attract without knowing it. i believethat i am slowly beginning to see my hidden thoughts. and i believe that one day soon, i am going to be able to Control, Judge, and Decide my own circumstances.
Yo, I’m probably the youngest writer here, if not the youngest then possibly the most percocious. i am 15 as of this writing, a year younger than the required age to participate in the group. However i felt that i needed some guidance, and that the younger i start, the easier it will be for the rest of my life.
So, where do i start. Well when i was young.. bout.. 10ish or so, i got a bike from my dad. just a bike, nothing special, just something for my 10th birthday. I don’t know what it is.. but.. it seemed as if it was the first thing that i conciously knew i attracted. Now i had never heard of Litteral Manifestation of life before, but i just had this.. feeling. this.. nudge. and.. as a young boy of ten, i shrugged it off. it wouldnt’ be until later that i would remember that odd day, clouds out, i had a cold. i was in a room, my dad decided to bring the bike into the house. it was on my carpet. and for some odd reason.. my mind went blank. all i could think about was.. nothing. it was Peaceful, and it felt.. Safe.
Onwards, a few years afterwards, something Odd happened. maybe it was through my constant exposure to God and Faith, but something Happened. I.. questioned.. A LOT. I questioned meaning of life, why i’m here, and what the heck am i supposed to do. looking back on it, i still can’t believe it. I still can’t see what was the thing that enlightened me, what was the trigger for my Wonder, what was the catalyst for my self development?
And looking back on it Still, i see that i was a.. prideful young boy who wanted more and more, but slowly.. i began to see that my pride was easily turning into Arrogance. As i stepped into my Teen years, a book called “Teenage Angst” crossed my path. I don’t know what made me pick it up off the shelf, or why. But yet another odd thing happened. Quite honestly, i was holding the book, and i walked out. i forgot to check it out or even think about why i was holding the book until later in the car. I thought to myself, boy that would be embarresing to go back and say i stole the book by mistake. so i decided to just keep it and give it back, because they wouldn’t know who took it in the first place. So thats what i did, and my Fear of Embarressment was Assuaged.
Further still, my final year in junior high, my old English teacher, Ms. Bradfield, said the most inspiring thing that i will never forget. Paraphrasing from memory, “Find a job you like and you’ll live the happiest life that you will ever want and need” I remember those words still.. possibly jumbled up in a different order, but still fresh. I still didn’t realize the literal meaning, and to this day, at the time of this writing, i can’t quite grasp the concept of applying metaphors. But i think this was the second instance of the beginning of the Attraction of the movie and book, The Secret. Now this teacher, Miss Bradfield, has us do these end of the year Portfolios. She showed us examples of great writing, one of them belonging to the cousin of my friend. I don’t know what hit me.. but after reading the words.. i knew. I wanted to be a Writer, and that is my purpose. That is what i defined for myself, and that is what i probably want Still. But, negative thoughts in my mind, circling my purpose, masking the truth, replacing what i truly want with what i fear i’ll find. Oh, and for proof of my negativity clouding my purpose of Writing, i became ill, and used that as an excuse to not write to my full potential the portfolio that is said to determine my entire life up to that point.
OH i am sorry, i forgot to mention something else that happened that is quite memorable in my mind.
During my 6th grade of school, i did something amazing without knowing it until now. Literally, just now, as i wrote this. For that school year, for some reason, i remember saying to myself ” well, i’ll keep myself in this shell of who i am, a front of being just one of the regular kids at school, one of the normal ones who don’t think of purpose and circumstance. and i’ll be open to whatever happens and decide from there, i will act like a loner, to see if anyone wants to free me from my shell of mystery.” Or something like that, i probably couldn’t write so elegantly back in the day. and its at this moment of writing that i see that i freed myself from attatchment, and in turn freed myself from the attatchment of love. I know. Amazing. Truly, its moments like these, looking back on it, that you see, that You, in all your glory, can get whatever it is you want so long as you don’t need it.
How true how true. A girl that i met during that year, be it through unknowing glances or shared laughter, decided to do something. Her two friends asked me if i liked her, on the phone no less, and i can still remember that night. I was eating Spare ribs, er some sort of ribs, and i remember my sister picking up the phone and she said its for me. i remember over hearing my parents talking asking who it was as i left the kitchen. Questions swarm my mind, who could it be, no one ever calls me at my house, my house is a traditional asian house which wants to be left alone. and then i picked up the call, and the feeling of Cold Calmness, the same as the one with the bike the years back, took over me. they asked me, in a very brow-beating manner if i liked her. Jessica was her name. and i, being in my shell of protection, beat around the bush. saying things like.. “depends. mmm.. iono.. doyou want me to like her? mm.. i kinda don’t wanna answer that question without her on the phone.” AND DAMNED IT ALL, she WAS on the phone. my insanely keen awareness noticed Something out of the ordinary, slight pauses when they decided what to say.
i poked and proded, answering in a manner in the hope that might give away their dishonesty about who was on the phone with them. And then she spoke. The twins which were her friends got off the phone, (i think.) and we talked. she asked me, one last time, clearly, seriously, “do you like me?” and i.. decided it was time to let go of the shell. i took a deep breath, scrunched my eyes, wiped my mind of apprehension, and said “Yeah, i do.” Now we were all a flutter for weeks, months. but we kept it a secret. now somewhere, back in my mind, i thought, WOW, i have a girlfriend, before all of my friends, i must be special, i must be better. but the fact that we kept it a secret meant that.. i couldn’t defend her. i couldn’t be there for her when she needed me, and that is what annoyed me the most, that is why i wanted the secret to be lifted. and Finally, after months and months, something happened. a fellow student, Freddy Griffin, may he find happiness throughout his entire life, started flirting with her. and i saw her face, i saw her reaction, i saw her looking back at me and i knew i had to do something. all i did was walk over. Freddy said.. are you with him? if you tell me you are, i’ll stop. She nodded. he left. i walked over.. and smiled.
Fairytale huh? well, not quite. i wouldn’t know it yet, but i would’ve concocted a scheme of negativity that sever the bond that created it. The very arrogance that made me believe that i was better than the rest of my friends, made me believe that she was too good for me. made me feel inadequate in her very presence, the fact that i thought my friends are less than me, made me superior to Them.
But the fact that i am superior to them, doesn’t make me superior to Her.
The fact that it was a secret, the very secret that made it so that i couldn’t defend her, made me feel that i wasn’t good enough for her to boast being with me. that i wasn’t good enough, that i wasn’t able to be there for her. and in this process.. my own.. knife of negativity that i used to wound my happiness.. i did something stupid. i danced with another girl, because i am stupid. i thought to myself.. its just a dance.. she wouldn’t mind.. but she did. she minded because i didn’t tell her about it. we broke up for a bit. we got back together. but that time apart gave me time to think. and she was right..
i AM stupid, and because i am stupid, because i fear that i might hurt her again, i gave her up. i gave some bull excuse like she’s too good for me or that i’m not someone she truly likes. and so.. i ended it. through my own stupid questioning, through my own actions, through my own response to the input that i have attracted, i Ended it. Now.. the arrogance picks up again. i decided that i ended it for her, i ended it because i didn’t want to hurt her, meaning that i was good enough of a person to do such a thing. arrogance. I thought that i was better, because i thought that i was Good.
I set up duality, that things are good and bad, and judged and reacted. i now know that.. there is no good and bad.. there’s only questions and circumstance.
Onwards, freshman year at high school. English teacher, memorable, Mr. Martin. He is an old fashioned man who believes that there is a purpose, but that the price is much too steep to pay. It was from him that i derived my concept of Time, he said it. he said that Time could not be described, he said that Time is something that cannot be controlled, and therefore never able to be modified to learn. He said time was Now, and then time just went by. he said time is coming up, and that time will be right now. So many questions, so many answers. but he decided, long ago, that the price for the answers are too steep. so he decided to be a teacher. I however, decided to pay the price. the price for the answer, the answer to the question, why do the good suffer. Now this was the question i answered, but its linked to my Duality concept from before, that there is Good and bad, and that we do things because we strive to be good or that we don’t care if we’re bad. and my
price.. was advancing onto EXP English 2. He decided that if i was hit hard, if my reality was shaken, that i would leave the question like i think he left his own. And truly.. all of what i say about him is only from my point of view. i know very little of him, very little of his life and what he gave up, if he gave up at all. this is just my impression of him, he doesn’t seem to like teaching particularly, and he certainly doesn’t seem to enjoy seeing his students question traditional learning. but something inside me thinks that.. he did. a long time ago.
Which brings me to Now. there are so many INSANE attractions that i have done, that i can’t clear my mind enough to see them all, let alone write about them on here. I still have that arrogance complex that the fact that i choose to be good makes me better, the fact that i question life and do things differently makes me better, but now i also have Guilt to accompany it. i feel Guilty for feeling that i am better, i feel Guilty for Arrogance. Alas, all these feelings, these feelings of Painfulness and negativity, they all stem from everything that i have done for myself. and sure, i could just leave them be, feel guilty for being arrogant and arrogant for thinking i’m better all my life and never think anything of it; just letting it seep into my very soul and attract only such circumstances that bring me that pain; probably becoming a teacher like Mr. Martin who Painfully and willingly accepts Life. But i want more. My Thirst isn’t quenched, and i want to drink the Truth. i am ready. I am willing. It is time i earned the Answer to my question, the very question that i paid a hefty price for. Tell me, How do i control my thoughts. How do i examine and observe objectively, how do i be whatever i want to be. how do i have whatever i want to have. how do i, become what i strive to be. How do i Get what i want without being so attracted to it that i lose sight of the big picture. How do i manifest my Destiny. My Purpose. My Life. My Circumstances.
So i wrote that while back ago, and it still applies. I also found this fairly more Scientific video called “What the Bleep do we know” which speaks about this exact thing, but on a more, basic, deeper sciency level. I would reccomend both videos, “The Secret” and “What the Bleep do We Know.” If anyone wants it, they can torrent it or maybe find it on google or something, or if people are Really interested, i can host the videos on mediafire or something. So yeah, thats me in a nutshell, or a shell of a nutshell anyway, i’ve become far more nuttier, far more .. off the beaten path.
Now, The stunning part, is that This got a Response from who I am assuming is Rhonda Byrne’s Husband.