This is an old post, I posted it on a different forum, something about the Secret, but I seem to have lost it. Anyway, here it is, about 4 years old.
So im sitting here, water in hand, being blinded by White on black and chatting, music, and wondering what to type. Well I guess I should start by saying what this is. Basically, Intentionalism, Manifestation, Law of Attraction, (LOA) its the belief that life is determined by the thoughts that you conciously and subconciously create. I know, freaky. So my first actual foray into these words actually came with a book my friend showed me, and that book was called, The Secret. He talked bout it very offhanded, just a memorable line, “did you know that every thought has a frequency?”
Then we just went back on with whatever we were doing, i think it was tennis. So I shrugged it off, but then about 6 months later, my Aunt decided to tell me about the movie version of that same book, and i began to wonder, did I Intend myself to find the Movie version, courtesy of my Aunt? Now was when things started getting twisty. The basis of intentionalism boils down to the fact that You are Fate. That your intending of Fate to go one way or another, whether you know it or not, is what becomes reality. That “All that you are is the result of what you have thought’ Immediatly, this takes away the belief that God is Good, or that he is evil, or that he is a judge and that he is a decider. If God is nothing more than the source from which i was created, does the fact that i can create and manifest give me the symbolism of God? Now i started looking back, looking for clues ofwhat led me to my life so far, of whether or not i truly had hints that intended my path to become true. I looked as far back as 7 years old, when i was but a child messing around with some old glowsticks.
Now my memory is not as sharp, so I know not of the specifics as to why i would have a glowstick in the first place, though im sure i did not start stringing at the age of 7, no matter how Amazing that may have been. =P So yes, i remember glowsticks, i remember looking in the mirror and waving em, i remember refrigerating glowsticks for whatever reason, i remember things more near to the future as well, A bike that i wanted without even knowing it, a girlfriend that i pushed away without even knowing it, a path that i knowingly carved for myself, and a path that i shyed away from when i decided that there were more important things to life than the grade that represents you.
I believe in the law of attraction. I believe in manifesting destiny, and i believe that where i am, is because of what i’ve thought. i believe that there are things that i attract without knowing it. i believethat i am slowly beginning to see my hidden thoughts. and i believe that one day soon, i am going to be able to Control, Judge, and Decide my own circumstances.
Yo, I’m probably the youngest writer here, if not the youngest then possibly the most percocious. i am 15 as of this writing, a year younger than the required age to participate in the group. However i felt that i needed some guidance, and that the younger i start, the easier it will be for the rest of my life.
So, where do i start. Well when i was young.. bout.. 10ish or so, i got a bike from my dad. just a bike, nothing special, just something for my 10th birthday. I don’t know what it is.. but.. it seemed as if it was the first thing that i conciously knew i attracted. Now i had never heard of Litteral Manifestation of life before, but i just had this.. feeling. this.. nudge. and.. as a young boy of ten, i shrugged it off. it wouldnt’ be until later that i would remember that odd day, clouds out, i had a cold. i was in a room, my dad decided to bring the bike into the house. it was on my carpet. and for some odd reason.. my mind went blank. all i could think about was.. nothing. it was Peaceful, and it felt.. Safe.
Onwards, a few years afterwards, something Odd happened. maybe it was through my constant exposure to God and Faith, but something Happened. I.. questioned.. A LOT. I questioned meaning of life, why i’m here, and what the heck am i supposed to do. looking back on it, i still can’t believe it. I still can’t see what was the thing that enlightened me, what was the trigger for my Wonder, what was the catalyst for my self development?
And looking back on it Still, i see that i was a.. prideful young boy who wanted more and more, but slowly.. i began to see that my pride was easily turning into Arrogance. As i stepped into my Teen years, a book called “Teenage Angst” crossed my path. I don’t know what made me pick it up off the shelf, or why. But yet another odd thing happened. Quite honestly, i was holding the book, and i walked out. i forgot to check it out or even think about why i was holding the book until later in the car. I thought to myself, boy that would be embarresing to go back and say i stole the book by mistake. so i decided to just keep it and give it back, because they wouldn’t know who took it in the first place. So thats what i did, and my Fear of Embarressment was Assuaged.
Further still, my final year in junior high, my old English teacher, Ms. Bradfield, said the most inspiring thing that i will never forget. Paraphrasing from memory, “Find a job you like and you’ll live the happiest life that you will ever want and need” I remember those words still.. possibly jumbled up in a different order, but still fresh. I still didn’t realize the literal meaning, and to this day, at the time of this writing, i can’t quite grasp the concept of applying metaphors. But i think this was the second instance of the beginning of the Attraction of the movie and book, The Secret. Now this teacher, Miss Bradfield, has us do these end of the year Portfolios. She showed us examples of great writing, one of them belonging to the cousin of my friend. I don’t know what hit me.. but after reading the words.. i knew. I wanted to be a Writer, and that is my purpose. That is what i defined for myself, and that is what i probably want Still. But, negative thoughts in my mind, circling my purpose, masking the truth, replacing what i truly want with what i fear i’ll find. Oh, and for proof of my negativity clouding my purpose of Writing, i became ill, and used that as an excuse to not write to my full potential the portfolio that is said to determine my entire life up to that point.
OH i am sorry, i forgot to mention something else that happened that is quite memorable in my mind.
During my 6th grade of school, i did something amazing without knowing it until now. Literally, just now, as i wrote this. For that school year, for some reason, i remember saying to myself ” well, i’ll keep myself in this shell of who i am, a front of being just one of the regular kids at school, one of the normal ones who don’t think of purpose and circumstance. and i’ll be open to whatever happens and decide from there, i will act like a loner, to see if anyone wants to free me from my shell of mystery.” Or something like that, i probably couldn’t write so elegantly back in the day. and its at this moment of writing that i see that i freed myself from attatchment, and in turn freed myself from the attatchment of love. I know. Amazing. Truly, its moments like these, looking back on it, that you see, that You, in all your glory, can get whatever it is you want so long as you don’t need it.
How true how true. A girl that i met during that year, be it through unknowing glances or shared laughter, decided to do something. Her two friends asked me if i liked her, on the phone no less, and i can still remember that night. I was eating Spare ribs, er some sort of ribs, and i remember my sister picking up the phone and she said its for me. i remember over hearing my parents talking asking who it was as i left the kitchen. Questions swarm my mind, who could it be, no one ever calls me at my house, my house is a traditional asian house which wants to be left alone. and then i picked up the call, and the feeling of Cold Calmness, the same as the one with the bike the years back, took over me. they asked me, in a very brow-beating manner if i liked her. Jessica was her name. and i, being in my shell of protection, beat around the bush. saying things like.. “depends. mmm.. iono.. doyou want me to like her? mm.. i kinda don’t wanna answer that question without her on the phone.” AND DAMNED IT ALL, she WAS on the phone. my insanely keen awareness noticed Something out of the ordinary, slight pauses when they decided what to say.
i poked and proded, answering in a manner in the hope that might give away their dishonesty about who was on the phone with them. And then she spoke. The twins which were her friends got off the phone, (i think.) and we talked. she asked me, one last time, clearly, seriously, “do you like me?” and i.. decided it was time to let go of the shell. i took a deep breath, scrunched my eyes, wiped my mind of apprehension, and said “Yeah, i do.” Now we were all a flutter for weeks, months. but we kept it a secret. now somewhere, back in my mind, i thought, WOW, i have a girlfriend, before all of my friends, i must be special, i must be better. but the fact that we kept it a secret meant that.. i couldn’t defend her. i couldn’t be there for her when she needed me, and that is what annoyed me the most, that is why i wanted the secret to be lifted. and Finally, after months and months, something happened. a fellow student, Freddy Griffin, may he find happiness throughout his entire life, started flirting with her. and i saw her face, i saw her reaction, i saw her looking back at me and i knew i had to do something. all i did was walk over. Freddy said.. are you with him? if you tell me you are, i’ll stop. She nodded. he left. i walked over.. and smiled.
Fairytale huh? well, not quite. i wouldn’t know it yet, but i would’ve concocted a scheme of negativity that sever the bond that created it. The very arrogance that made me believe that i was better than the rest of my friends, made me believe that she was too good for me. made me feel inadequate in her very presence, the fact that i thought my friends are less than me, made me superior to Them.
But the fact that i am superior to them, doesn’t make me superior to Her.
The fact that it was a secret, the very secret that made it so that i couldn’t defend her, made me feel that i wasn’t good enough for her to boast being with me. that i wasn’t good enough, that i wasn’t able to be there for her. and in this process.. my own.. knife of negativity that i used to wound my happiness.. i did something stupid. i danced with another girl, because i am stupid. i thought to myself.. its just a dance.. she wouldn’t mind.. but she did. she minded because i didn’t tell her about it. we broke up for a bit. we got back together. but that time apart gave me time to think. and she was right..
i AM stupid, and because i am stupid, because i fear that i might hurt her again, i gave her up. i gave some bull excuse like she’s too good for me or that i’m not someone she truly likes. and so.. i ended it. through my own stupid questioning, through my own actions, through my own response to the input that i have attracted, i Ended it. Now.. the arrogance picks up again. i decided that i ended it for her, i ended it because i didn’t want to hurt her, meaning that i was good enough of a person to do such a thing. arrogance. I thought that i was better, because i thought that i was Good.
I set up duality, that things are good and bad, and judged and reacted. i now know that.. there is no good and bad.. there’s only questions and circumstance.
Onwards, freshman year at high school. English teacher, memorable, Mr. Martin. He is an old fashioned man who believes that there is a purpose, but that the price is much too steep to pay. It was from him that i derived my concept of Time, he said it. he said that Time could not be described, he said that Time is something that cannot be controlled, and therefore never able to be modified to learn. He said time was Now, and then time just went by. he said time is coming up, and that time will be right now. So many questions, so many answers. but he decided, long ago, that the price for the answers are too steep. so he decided to be a teacher. I however, decided to pay the price. the price for the answer, the answer to the question, why do the good suffer. Now this was the question i answered, but its linked to my Duality concept from before, that there is Good and bad, and that we do things because we strive to be good or that we don’t care if we’re bad. and my
price.. was advancing onto EXP English 2. He decided that if i was hit hard, if my reality was shaken, that i would leave the question like i think he left his own. And truly.. all of what i say about him is only from my point of view. i know very little of him, very little of his life and what he gave up, if he gave up at all. this is just my impression of him, he doesn’t seem to like teaching particularly, and he certainly doesn’t seem to enjoy seeing his students question traditional learning. but something inside me thinks that.. he did. a long time ago.
Which brings me to Now. there are so many INSANE attractions that i have done, that i can’t clear my mind enough to see them all, let alone write about them on here. I still have that arrogance complex that the fact that i choose to be good makes me better, the fact that i question life and do things differently makes me better, but now i also have Guilt to accompany it. i feel Guilty for feeling that i am better, i feel Guilty for Arrogance. Alas, all these feelings, these feelings of Painfulness and negativity, they all stem from everything that i have done for myself. and sure, i could just leave them be, feel guilty for being arrogant and arrogant for thinking i’m better all my life and never think anything of it; just letting it seep into my very soul and attract only such circumstances that bring me that pain; probably becoming a teacher like Mr. Martin who Painfully and willingly accepts Life. But i want more. My Thirst isn’t quenched, and i want to drink the Truth. i am ready. I am willing. It is time i earned the Answer to my question, the very question that i paid a hefty price for. Tell me, How do i control my thoughts. How do i examine and observe objectively, how do i be whatever i want to be. how do i have whatever i want to have. how do i, become what i strive to be. How do i Get what i want without being so attracted to it that i lose sight of the big picture. How do i manifest my Destiny. My Purpose. My Life. My Circumstances.
So i wrote that while back ago, and it still applies. I also found this fairly more Scientific video called “What the Bleep do we know” which speaks about this exact thing, but on a more, basic, deeper sciency level. I would reccomend both videos, “The Secret” and “What the Bleep do We Know.” If anyone wants it, they can torrent it or maybe find it on google or something, or if people are Really interested, i can host the videos on mediafire or something. So yeah, thats me in a nutshell, or a shell of a nutshell anyway, i’ve become far more nuttier, far more .. off the beaten path.
Now, The stunning part, is that This got a Response from who I am assuming is Rhonda Byrne’s Husband.
I just came across your story that you submitted to The Secret website. Firstly, thank you for taking the time to write in. Secondly, it is quite a startling story Andrew! : ) Startling in a good way… startling because you see and perceive so much, so many things that most people never notice… about life, themselves, others. Really, I was quite amazed. You are only 15 years old….
You also have a lot of questions, obviously, and that was the real reason for you writing. For that reason, I wanted to suggest to you that you perhaps go on The Secret Forum… as there, people can answer your questions (with their own version of answers, of course) and you can have conversations and dialogues with people. It’s just that no-one can reply to the stories, and anyway, this section of our website is for stories of success with The Secret. The Secret Forum is for questions.
I do understand Andrew. I understand your thoughts and feelings about life, and I understand your questions. But I do believe your questions are ones that you must discover the answer for yourself. They are not questions that someone can tell you or write the answer down for you. They are questions that can only be answered by living life yourself, and through that living, at the appropriate time, the answers will be revealed. You know, there really is an ‘appropriate’ time to know certain things… and if you trust in life, you will always be there at the appropriate time. : )
I remember when I was 16, I had thousands of similar questions, and I was desperate for the answers… I read constantly, trying to find those answers. And no doubt I did find some in all that reading, no doubt. But basically, you get the answers when you’re ready to hear them, and not before! : ) At least that’s what I have found in my life so far. I’m now 25, and I am still asking as many – if not MORE – questions than I did when I was 16. There is actually no end to the questions, Andrew, which is really a good thing. When we stop asking questions we are dead. But the thing is, every year you get older, you are more patient with your questions, I think. You understand that you are going to find out the answers, through living, and you look forward to that, but you are not fixated on it.
I am talking about your ‘bigger’ questions here, of course. Because plenty of people (including Rhonda Byrne in The Secret Book) can give you advice on your ‘smaller’ questions, things like controlling your thoughts, and manifesting what you want. They’re the easy ones! ; ) And if you really do what to know about those things, I would recommend reading The Secret book again, and again, and again…. Because the answers are in there.
And you are already a writer Andrew! Someone that observes things in the way you do, to me, that says one thing: writer. I am the same. : ) I knew when I was about six years old…. : )
All the best to you,
Skye Byrne, The Secret