What makes a good Conversationalist? It’s a very tricky thing; to be quick witted and able to
make the English Language your bitch. bend the rule of English to your desires. Even more so when it is done Vocally, instead of Secretly.
A While back, I had a talk with Anthony about how to carry on a conversation. The consensus was that both sides need to contribute, input, and offer insight and opinion to the response. Now, the reason that some awkward situations arise is either that, the person does not feel like talking, the person does not feel like talking to you, or, the most likely, the person does not know what to talk about. This is a very interesting thing, that tends to happen to those who people feel they have strong connections to, but then they flame out and people attempt to say, perhaps we just don’t click.
The problem is, some people just suck at it. Some people do not know how to go from one subject to the next, take a base and build a pyramid so to speak. I’ll give you an example. I say the word Sky, how do you reply? How do you build on something like the weather? Here’s how went about it the other day, The other person’s words will be underlined.
- Its soooo cold!
“No it’s not. =) It’s sooo unbelievably warm right now.” -They look at me like it’s crazy- “Mind over Matter. =) Think about a hot place.”
- That doesn’t really work though, cause I think about a hot place like Hawaii, and then I want to go to Hawaii, so then i’m sad.
- -SomeoneElseAddsOddity- -That doesn’t work, cause I think about the sun, and then that makes me think about hell, which makes me think about eternal damnation, which is bad.-
“Well, then that’s why you have to pick a place that’s Boring and Hot. =) think of Phoenix, Arizona. It’s hot as hell there, but it’s completely boring.”
Now, this is part of a conversation I had while walking someone to their ride home. First of all, think of where it started. It was cold. One very easy way to add something to a conversation, is to talk about the opposing point of view.
- I’m bored.
“Me too, but I ran into an old friend on my way over here, she was laughing uncontrollably about something.” Now here, you can decide whether or not you wish to Lie to pursue a conversation. Lies will add considerable depth through outlandish possibilities, but the lack of ethics behind it leaves much to be considered. It is a great start, for those who are not as observant of the magic around them, and must first imagine magic, before it is shown to them.
The whole point, is to be Observant. To See everything, so that you can Speak of everything. Now the second point, is to Describe it. Imagine you are reading a book to someone, and the book is written by an amazing author who is capable of vociferous vocabulary. The book, is the book of life. Your job as a Conversationalist is to introduce a page of it to the person you are conversing With. I do not believe that books are ever absolutely boring; same thing with life. Every life has something worth conversing about, all it takes is the Observer to see it, then to transfer its meaning into another’s existence.
Now comes the nitty-gritty. Why do we converse? When I say that some people suck at conversing, it either means they suck at the describing portion, in which case they think that what they say is too boring to explain, or that they don’t wish to converse, or are unable to contribute to the conversation, based on internal turmoil. Describing the magic of the world that is worth conversing about will come in time and practice. The more magic you see, the more you solidify its existence. Now the second part. If the other person simply does not wish to converse, if they are incapable of continuing the conversation, then the only thing you can do, is Bodily Expression. If words can’t convey meaning, or if words seem too harsh to say, “You’re boring and can’t speak.” Then simply walk, smile slightly, turn your head to the other person, observe them, and take the lesson that comes with the view. Those who want to talk would probably be able to say something like, “what?” when you look at them with your smiling mug. Those who just don’t want to, for whatever reason, would just smile back or not change facial expressions at all. You can learn from this, learn from who you are conversing with, exchanging thoughts with.
The hardest part, is to Start. The base of the pyramid. You can either plan it out, or wing it. One guarantees the execution, but I find that if you Wing it based on what you see, you can add more to it and to what it can be.
Observe and you can see, all that emotion has blinded you to be, so to speak.