Lot’s changed, and the most jarring is the one that snuck up on me – it’s been way too long since I last wrote something on this blog. Looking back, I’m amazed that I have stuff here from 2008, and I’m sure I wrote stuff on a xanga before this WordPress. That’s 11 years. Crazy. And here I am now. Where is that exactly?
Married. Yup, that’s probably the biggest change in my life. Well obviously, that’s not all true – my wife’s brother passed away, my father passed away, found out my mother has lung cancer, but thankfully it’s being treated and she has a relatively normal lifestyle. That’s definitely a blessing that I’m only just now starting to appreciate.
So yeah, lots has been going on, so I think it’d be a good idea if I restarted this blog for myself, so that I can “/get it all down on paper so that it’s no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to./”
Where to start? Let’s just start with today. I’m trying to use more feeling words, so let’s see.. I’m feeling.. weak-willed. There’s all these things I have on my list of things I want to do, taking care of dad’s car at the DMV and Carmax, calling up the interior door ppl to get that replaced, set up a workout routine, sou vide my own meals, write that book I’ve been meaning to write, finish all my work at work, write my wife her birthday card, send emails letting my friends know I’m praying for them, etc. So much stuff to handle, and that’s just life. I feel ill-equipped to handle all these things, and I would love to just constantly veg out and numb my brain to anything of real consequence. Then I feel guilty for doing just that when I give in to those things, because I know deep down, this is not how I want to live and people are depending on me to live differently. And deep within all of that is the fear that I’m just like my dad, who may or may not have taken his own life. Yeesh. No wonder I don’t want to think about that.
And somehow through the midst of all this, I’m supposed to be a loving husband to my new wife. That has it’s own host of challenges, which I’lll save for another time.
To whoever ever read this: thank you. I remember Terence, and that random person who found my blog and left a comment. The rest of these words, are just for me. Let’s get started again.
Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish 